i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
