This is not my ceiling
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So squirting runs in the family.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
