your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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