i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
