A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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