No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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