I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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