there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
