I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
