Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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