oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
