Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
