I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
