Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
