How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i've created a new STD.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
