you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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