yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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