And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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