it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
