So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
