kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
