hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize