It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
