you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
