you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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