Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
