So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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