Kiss
Puke
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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