Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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