i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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