I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
