I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
