So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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