I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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