i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
