I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
