suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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