me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
is wine microwaveable?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
