Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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