I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
