If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
