Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
