I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
