Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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