whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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