I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
