I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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