I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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