let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
