This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
