we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize