You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
