when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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