i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
