walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We need to get me chipped asap
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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