Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize