If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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