mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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