one two three fourrrrnication!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
