Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize